Cognizant Method :
Hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......
TCS method:
Hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration
IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour... he dies of unemployment. ..
Syntel Method:
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
Click Here for Mind Scratching Puzzles
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
Lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex method:
Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion.
Polaris Method:
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM)
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Patni method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........! !!!
Accenture Method:
*Hire a lion.... **
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
Must Read and Act
Look at the below Terror pattern:
13 May -------- JAIPUR
June -------------------
26 July------------ AHMEDABAD
August ---------------------------
13 September------------ DELHI
October -------------------------
26 November--------------- MUMBAI
December ----------------------------
13 January ----------------- Where Next?
Also, look at the dates and places. If you pick up the characters represented by dates from the places look at what you get
13-Jaipur
J I
26-Ahmedabad
H A
13-Delhi
D L
26-Mumbai / Bombay
U I
JIHAD LUI…. Not sure how will this be completed..
- BE VERY CAREFUL & CAUTIOUS
In case you come across any suspicious activity, any suspicious movement or have any information to tell to the Anti-Terror Squad, please take a Note of the new ALL INDIA TOLL-FREE Terror Help-line "1090".
Your city's Police or Anti-Terror squad will take action as quickly as possible.
Remember that this single number 1090 is valid all over India This is a toll free number and can be dialed from mobile phones also.
Moreover, the identity of the caller will be kept a secret.
Let us make each and every citizen of India aware about this facility.
13 May -------- JAIPUR
June -------------------
26 July------------ AHMEDABAD
August ---------------------------
13 September------------ DELHI
October -------------------------
26 November--------------- MUMBAI
December ----------------------------
13 January ----------------- Where Next?
Also, look at the dates and places. If you pick up the characters represented by dates from the places look at what you get
13-Jaipur
J I
26-Ahmedabad
H A
13-Delhi
D L
26-Mumbai / Bombay
U I
JIHAD LUI…. Not sure how will this be completed..
- BE VERY CAREFUL & CAUTIOUS
In case you come across any suspicious activity, any suspicious movement or have any information to tell to the Anti-Terror Squad, please take a Note of the new ALL INDIA TOLL-FREE Terror Help-line "1090".
Your city's Police or Anti-Terror squad will take action as quickly as possible.
Remember that this single number 1090 is valid all over India This is a toll free number and can be dialed from mobile phones also.
Moreover, the identity of the caller will be kept a secret.
Let us make each and every citizen of India aware about this facility.
An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY!!!
An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY!!!
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the
ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog
in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I
will grant you three wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!' The woman
said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most
beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this
wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis
whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will
be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-
she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she
wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make
your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than
you. '
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine.'
So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world!
The
frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like to have a
mild heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't
mess with them.
Attention
female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue
feeling good!
Male
readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times
'milder' than his wife!!!
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart .
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
You can Tell this Story to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour :)
ENJOY....................
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the
ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog
in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I
will grant you three wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!' The woman
said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most
beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this
wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis
whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will
be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-
she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she
wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make
your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than
you. '
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine.'
So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world!
The
frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like to have a
mild heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't
mess with them.
Attention
female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue
feeling good!
Male
readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times
'milder' than his wife!!!
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart .
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
You can Tell this Story to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour :)
ENJOY....................
Importance of having Breakfast
Breakfast can help prevent strokes, heart attack and sudden death. Advice on not to skip breakfast! Tips for healthyliving..For those who always skip breakfast, you should start kicking that habit now!!
You've heard many times that "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Now, recent research confirms that one of the worst practices you can develop may be avoiding breakfast.
Why?
Because the frequency of heart attack, sudden death, and stroke peaks between 6:00a.m. and noon, with the highest incidence being between 8: 00a.m. and 10:00a.m.What mechanism within the body could account for this significant jump in sudden death in the early morning hours? :-(
We may have an answer .
Platelet, tiny elements in the blood that keep us from bleeding to Death if we get a cut, can clump together inside our arteries due to cholesterol or laque buildup in the artery lining. It is in the morning hours that platelets become the most activated and tend to form these internal blood clots at the greatest frequency.
However, eating even a very light breakfast prevents the morning platelet activation that is associated with heart attacks and strokes . :-)
Studies performed at Memorial University in St.Johns , Newfoundland found that eating a light, very low-fat breakfast was critical in modifying the morning platelet activation. Subjects in the study consumed either low-fat or fat-free yogurt, orange juice, fruit, and a source of protein coming from yogurt or fat-free milk.
S o if you skip breakfast, it's important that you change this practice immediately in light of this research.Develop a simple plan to eat cereal, such as oatmeal or Bran Flakes ,along with six ounces of grape juice or orange juice , and perhaps a piece of fruit .
This simple plan will keep your platelets from sticking together, keep blood clots from forming, and perhaps head off a potential heart attack or stroke.
So never ever skip breakfast :-)
CONVEY THIS MESSAGE TO ALL YOUR DEAR ONES
You've heard many times that "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Now, recent research confirms that one of the worst practices you can develop may be avoiding breakfast.
Why?
Because the frequency of heart attack, sudden death, and stroke peaks between 6:00a.m. and noon, with the highest incidence being between 8: 00a.m. and 10:00a.m.What mechanism within the body could account for this significant jump in sudden death in the early morning hours? :-(
We may have an answer .
Platelet, tiny elements in the blood that keep us from bleeding to Death if we get a cut, can clump together inside our arteries due to cholesterol or laque buildup in the artery lining. It is in the morning hours that platelets become the most activated and tend to form these internal blood clots at the greatest frequency.
However, eating even a very light breakfast prevents the morning platelet activation that is associated with heart attacks and strokes . :-)
Studies performed at Memorial University in St.Johns , Newfoundland found that eating a light, very low-fat breakfast was critical in modifying the morning platelet activation. Subjects in the study consumed either low-fat or fat-free yogurt, orange juice, fruit, and a source of protein coming from yogurt or fat-free milk.
S o if you skip breakfast, it's important that you change this practice immediately in light of this research.Develop a simple plan to eat cereal, such as oatmeal or Bran Flakes ,along with six ounces of grape juice or orange juice , and perhaps a piece of fruit .
This simple plan will keep your platelets from sticking together, keep blood clots from forming, and perhaps head off a potential heart attack or stroke.
So never ever skip breakfast :-)
CONVEY THIS MESSAGE TO ALL YOUR DEAR ONES
Stress Meter-check it out....
I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate.
Read the full description before looking at the picture.
The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical.
A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a great amount of stress.
Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
No Need to WORRY, I am also on Vacation .
Smile, it increases your face value
Read the full description before looking at the picture.
The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical.
A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a great amount of stress.
Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
No Need to WORRY, I am also on Vacation .
Smile, it increases your face value
Lets have some SARDAR Jokes
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India.
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Inspirational Story of Two Friends
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the Journey they had an Argument, and one friend Slapped the other one In the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME ON THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.
The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you,
you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!!
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Take the time to live!
Do not value the THINGS you have in your life. But value WHO you have in your life!
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME ON THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.
The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you,
you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!!
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Take the time to live!
Do not value the THINGS you have in your life. But value WHO you have in your life!
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
The Most Beautiful....
The most beautiful house in the world
Situated in Barcelona, Spain
The most beautiful city in the world
Vancouver, Canada
The most beautiful boy in the world
For 2007 held in Australia and he is from Pakistan and he is 1yr & 9months old
The most beautiful girl in the world
Held in France and her name is Fatima from Morrocco
The most beautiful eyes in the world
from Afghanistan
The most beautiful waterfall in the world
Niagra Falls in U.S. & Canada
The most beautiful bridge in the world
JAPAN
The most beautiful horse in the world
Arabian
The most beautiful plant in the world
It is shaped like a water bubble
Situated in Barcelona, Spain
The most beautiful city in the world
Vancouver, Canada
The most beautiful boy in the world
For 2007 held in Australia and he is from Pakistan and he is 1yr & 9months old
The most beautiful girl in the world
Held in France and her name is Fatima from Morrocco
The most beautiful eyes in the world
from Afghanistan
The most beautiful waterfall in the world
Niagra Falls in U.S. & Canada
The most beautiful bridge in the world
JAPAN
The most beautiful horse in the world
Arabian
The most beautiful plant in the world
It is shaped like a water bubble
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